Why I Am Really Disappointed With eHarmony

by David J. Stewart | November 2018

       I sincerely signed up for eHarmony in February of 2018 as a paid customer. After 10 fruitless months, I can concur 100% with what the gentleman's negative claims below (in his warning about eHarmony), that eHarmony appears to be somewhat of a fraud.

I have contacted about one dozen women. If you believe in love at first sight, I fell head over heals for one woman in particular, my age, who was an alumni of my college in the 1980's. I even wrote to her multiple times, assuring her of my continued interest if she ever logged-in and read my e-mails. After a few months I became suspicious of eHarmony, because I ran into the same problem with other women to whom I had written. I mean, if they weren't interest and deleted my profile from theirs, it would say they had “left the building.” There were just too many matches over several months of time, to whom I had kindly written to show interest, who never responded in any way, so that I became convinced that eHarmony is not honest.

I never heard back from any of them. If they moved on and blocked me out, then their profile would say they have “left the building.” Unfortunately, it appears that these women may actually be dead, or have abandoned eHarmony altogether. Yet, why is eHarmony continuing to circulate these inactive profiles of these departed people? Honestly, in my humble opinion they are selfish at eHarmony, playing with people's hearts, sending dead profiles from former members who are long gone. In fact, I can prove it. I received numerous profiles of women that had no photo. Some had their pet cat, or some other non-facial photo. I had to contact eHarmony and flag the profiles as fraud, which plainly shows that eHarmony knowingly sends matches to customers that are sometimes fraudulent. The company doesn't do it on purpose, they evidently don't have the manpower to comb through millions of profiles to keep up with whose who. I can certainly understand that; however, it is very frustrating for a sincere customer (like me), because your heart may jump with joy when you find that perfect life's partner, just to find out that they are no longer active at eHarmony. Ethically, eHarmony should never have sent me those matches in the first place, to unintentionally tease me and hurt my heart. Regardless of the reasons for eHarmony's lousy way of doing things, I wrote this article to warn other people about eHarmony, because of what I went through.

I fully concur with this man's frustrations with eHarmony...

Why is eHarmony considered a fraud?

Clayton Duncan, Professional Musician/Band Director (2000-present)
December 15, 2016

As they currently have it, you can’t really see what matches are actually active users. They do have green dots to indicate a match that’s currently on the site and yellow dots to indicate a match has been online in the last 24 hours. But you can only see those in the mobile app and not on the actual full website.

The fact is that there are a lot of inactive users and dead profiles. Now, that’s par for the course on dating sites but Match and OKCupid give you access to everyone and you can look and see when a user was last online. You can see if a profile is dead and move on. But since eHarmony is in control of who you match with, it means that they knowingly match you with dead accounts.

I don’t mind the limited matches, assuming they really are good matches, but if they’re full of people who will never respond because they’re not using the site, that’s complete BS.

eHarmony also offers added features like knowing when/if a match has read your message. But for all you know, you’re messaging a dead profile that will never respond. And they charge per match, not a flat fee for all messages sent like on other sites. eHarmony will still gladly charge you $10 knowing the person you’re messaging won’t respond. Again, that’s BS.

And then there are people who have free accounts who don’t intend to sign up for a full membership. Part of the appeal of a paid dating site is that every everybody is paying for it, it means everybody is serious about finding somebody on the site. But the truth is you still get matched with free users who can’t respond (because they’re not paid members) so what’s the point?

The fact is, eHarmony matches you with free users because they want those users to sign up for a paid account. They’re USING you, giving you matches very unlikely to respond, in an effort to recruit more paying customers.

And this is also why the “free to communicate” weekends are BS. It’s a way to get more people to sign up for free accounts. So paying members get more matches, but ones they can’t communicate with outside the “free” window. A lot of these people you won’t get matched with until after the free weekend is over. It just give eHarmony more people to show you, but most of them don’t sign up for a paid membership and you can’t really communicate with them.

I don’t know if I’d call them an outright fraud, but there are definitely fraudulent elements. You sign up thinking you’re getting all these active users who are as serious as you about finding a mate and instead you get a lot of dead profiles and free users you can’t talk to.

All that said, you can meet people there, but my response rate on eHarmony was way lower than it was on OKCupid. 5% vs 20%. And I chalk most of that up to dead & free profiles.

SOURCE: https://www.quora.com/Why-is-eHarmony-considered-a-fraud

Apparently eHarmony's computer has been left to handle things, without proper oversight to filter out inactive members and dead profiles. “The Golden Rule” in Matthew 7:12, “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.” This will be the standard by which God will one day in eternity judge all men (Matthew 7:1-2). I have spent the past 6 months thinking, earnestly praying to God, and hoping to receive a response from several women whom EHARMONY ALLEGEDLY CHOSE FOR ME, whom I now come to find don't actually exist anymore in eHarmony's system.

There was a time back in American history when honesty, integrity and decency meant something. I have wasted the past several months, spending hundreds of hours pondering over, praying and hoping for someone to respond, believing that they would, but these women don't even exist in eHarmony! Truly, “the love of money is the root of all evil” (1st Timothy 6:10).

Furthermore, I really hate the way eHarmony is set up. You have no way of knowing if someone has read the message you sent them. I would NEVER recommend eHarmony to anyone. What does that say about the wealthy executives who operate the company? Do they “love thy neighbour as thyself”? To carelessly play games with people's feelings is terrible! That is my humble Christian opinion.

I am not saying that all of eHarmony's profiles are dead. I am saying that many of THE ONE'S THEY SENT ME certainly were dead!

I did not write this article in a spirit of hatred; but rather, with a broken heart and sadness. Galatians 5:14, “For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” I wouldn't mistreat people like eHarmony does, not for all the money in the world. I have to stand before God my Maker one day (Hebrews 9:27). Hebrews 10:31 warns that it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God!!! Mark 12:29-31, “And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord: And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.” Thank you for reading this.


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